Wanting in situations… or responding to situations
The only free will we truly possess is the Will to give up all our ‘wanting’.
All our actions, and everything required for them, can arise spontaneously in conscious self-remembrance, meaning when we observe the situation we are in with our full attention. It is important that this includes our own mind and what happens within it: our thoughts and feelings. Then we act (or choose not to act) according to what the situation demands of us, and there is no discrepancy between us and the situation. We then become one in and with that situation. This is called ‘acting through non-action‘. The entire process of acting then stems from our conscientious essence, directed by our talents, and our personality carries this out with its beautiful uniqueness. Thus, as a completely unique individual, we realize a sustainable I and Will (term by Ouspensky).
Our many selves, which want, demand, or reject various things and which flare up in unawareness without our noticing, only exist through identifications with aspects of the situation we are in. These I’s always react from identification and obstruct conscious action according to what is needed. Only I’s want things. They always come around, always wanting something again. But as soon as we notice them, they have no chance to continue operating unrestrained, because we see them for what they’re worth and so re-evaluate them as not useful, leaving them behind lovingly, every time again. All these selves and wants together form our stubborn ego, which is always in conflict with ourselves and others.
Our I’s often have a logical reason for existing, certain things ‘must’ be done, we believe, and based on our upbringing and life circumstances which might have led to painful experiences, they turned into conditionings. They have moved us far away from our silent Self. All these wanting selves arise through associations. Especially the I-don’t-want-selves, as they get triggered by something ‘undesirable’ in the current situation, by a trigger thus, while the actual cause lies in something from our past. There are also the I-no-longer-want-selves, triggered by discouragement, disappointment, and other causes of setbacks. This leads us to the tendency to do something else, to withdraw, or even to back off.
If our conditionings are strong, and thus our emotional reactions are strong, then we must continue to observe them and investigate them with a silent mind, to dissolve them into pure presence, into pure understanding. This clear understanding, where heart and head work optimally together, prevents us from ‘spiritually’ sweeping our tendencies and conditionings under the rug, just to keep feeling good, i.e., to stay in our comfort zone. However, ignoring or rationalizing these, from a so-called ‘wise’ ego-mindset, ensures that they will keep flaring up in similar situations, triggered by similar events, which causes these ego-aspects (I’s) to persist and even strengthen. The stress caused by this can eventually even lead to illness. It’s an important task for ourselves to lovingly give up this constant wanting from conditionings and dedicate it to our true Essence.
The ‘will’ of our essence
As humans, we have essential desires. These arise from our essence and guide us towards how we are ‘intended’ as individuals. They nourish our enthusiasm for what we perceive as important. This could concern simple things (enthusiasm for soccer) but can also arise from desires deeply ingrained in us from birth (enthusiasm for inner development and liberation). Essential desires are therefore quite different from our ordinary wanting. We must learn to distinguish between them well.
Our personality, our experience of being a person in this life with all our accomplishments, will continue to develop throughout our lives. Ideally, our personality, as an instrument, aligns completely with and thus serves our individualized essence, what we are ‘intended for’. Realizing our talents, thus expressing them, is the greatest gift in our lives. From this, an ‘essential desire’ arises from our Magnetic Center. If we love the truth, thereby loving ourselves and others, this (the Magnetic Center) is the only legitimate ‘want’ in us, until it too eventually dissolves into truth. Realizing a sustainable I and Will towards our soul’s destiny is thus essential. We then make ample room for the development and expression of our talents, allowing us to flourish fully. Without experiencing this blossoming, we will feel little fulfillment and, therefore, little happiness.
Our Being, in a way, is synonymous with blossoming, just as everything on Earth grows and blooms. This individual desire to blossom in our life needs to be followed by us. Not only do we become a complete human being through this (allowing feelings of happiness to rise within us), but we can also use our talents for the well-being of others. This is driven by our Ahamkara, which in its purity always seeks natural attachment. This desire from our essence is therefore a response to ourselves, to our soul’s destiny. Essential desires and longings can shift to a powerful ‘self-wanting’ when we identify with intended results or when we face setbacks, leading to an inner dual agenda. Then our authentic essential desire for example, change into a pursuit of fame, recognition, possession, or power, pushing away and overshadowing the original pure motivation.
Fighting the ego (i.e., all identifications we maintain) makes no sense, as they only need to be observed, consciously and silently, so their strength gradually diminishes by no longer believing that we are them. Conscious Light dissolves inner shadows. This reduces our inner division, and we experience less division, moving into a state of natural reaction where we experience unity. We then only do what’s necessary in a situation. We respond to a situation. We then naturally take responsibility / respons ability, no matter the situation, and it’s no coincidence that the word is derived from ‘respond’. In our world, where everything and everyone is connected (whether one realizes it or not), responsibility is entirely natural and highly desired for the well-being of the whole.
Responding to a situation is therefore quite different from wanting something in a situation. The former can only be done consciously; the latter happens to us when we are unaware. It’s then time to wake up and remind ourselves.
The Two Monks and the Woman
In a remote monastery in a mountainous area lived two monks named Tenzin and Kalden. They had dedicated their lives to meditation and prayer, adhering strictly to the rules of their order, including the vow of chastity.
One sunny morning Tenzin and the younger Kalden walked barefoot and in good spirits down the mountain path towards the nearby village, to do some shopping at the weekly market. It had rained heavily the night before, so they were faced with the high water level of a normally easily fordable stream that crossed their path. It had now turned into a strong flowing river. On the other side of the river stood a young woman in a beautiful sari, hesitantly trying to cross and making some attempts, but not daring to go through the strong current. It was evident that her sari would get completely wet.
Without hesitation, the strong Tenzin waded across the river and smilingly reached out his hand to the woman. She shyly smiled back, so Tenzin grabbed her under the shoulders and knees, lifted her across, and safely set her down on the other side, right next to Kalden. The young woman thanked him with a nod and went on her way.
Kalden had silently watched and said nothing. The young monk was shocked. This left him speechless on the way to the market. His cheerfulness had vanished. They continued their journey in silence and made their purchases silently. Also he return journey passed into silence.
Tenzin had long realized what was wrong, for while silence was indeed their good habit, he knew there was more to it now. So, at one point, he asked, “What troubles you, Kalden?” And then Kalden, who could no longer contain himself, burst out: “Tenzin, how could you do that?! We have taken the vow of chastity! You touched a woman, which is against our rules!”
Tenzin smiled and replied calmly: “My young friend, I only carried the woman for a few moments to help her cross. But you… you are still carrying her, aren’t you?”.
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This simple Zen anecdote conveys a beautiful message about living awake in the present moment.
Here, Tenzin made the less experienced Kalden ponder over the nature of their vows and the true meaning of compassion and empathy. It was a lesson for Kalden, reminding him that true morality does not consist of strictly adhering to rules and vows, but of understanding human needs and showing compassion in every situation. A person should always respond to situations and not be guided by dogma. This also prevents internal consideration.
Do we have a free will?
Free will, in the general sense, is a contradiction in terms
Being truly free means being free from ‘wills’
What remains is the truly free Will to give up all our changing ‘wills’
Then, in every situation and with full responsibility, we do what’s necessary:
‘Action through inaction’
Subsequently, we focus on our Essential desires.
